Understanding Stress and Practical Stress Management Techniques

Stress - It’s a term most of us use casually, but its impact is anything but casual. From tight deadlines and financial worries to unexpected life challenges, stress can feel overwhelming. While some levels of stress can be a natural motivator (sometimes referred to as Eustress), chronic or unaddressed stress can take a toll on our mental and physical well-being.

In this blog, we’ll explore what stress is, why it happens, and how you can manage it using practical, evidence-based techniques. We’ll also dive into how counselling, particularly through the humanistic and person-centred approach, can offer a supportive environment for you to work through your stress.


What is Stress?

Stress is your body’s natural response to any situation that feels challenging or threatening. It is part of a sophisticated survival mechanism involving your brain, hormones, and nervous system. At the centre of this response is the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which regulates involuntary functions such as heart rate, breathing, and digestion. The ANS has two key branches that play opposite roles in stress regulation: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).


The role of the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)
When your brain perceives a threat, it activates the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the "fight or flight" response. This is the system that prepares your body to respond to danger by:

• Increasing your heart rate and blood pressure.
• Quickening your breathing to deliver more oxygen to your muscles.
• Releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to heighten alertness and energy.
• Suppressing non-essential functions like digestion and immune responses to focus on immediate survival.

For example, if you’re walking home and hear a sudden loud noise behind you, the SNS kicks in almost instantly, helping you react quickly to a potential threat.


The role of the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)
Once the threat has passed, the parasympathetic nervous system - the "rest and digest" system - takes over to bring your body back to a calm, balanced state. It slows your heart rate, deepens your breathing, and restores normal digestive and immune functions. This is essential for recovery and maintaining long-term health.

However, when stress becomes chronic, the SNS remains overactive, and the PNS struggles to restore balance. This prolonged activation of the stress response can lead to physical symptoms such as fatigue, digestive issues, and a weakened immune system, as well as mental health issues like anxiety and burnout.


Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: Behavioural responses to stress

The activation of the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems is often described using the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn model, which explains behavioural responses to stress:

• Fight: Responding to stress by confronting or challenging the source. For example, becoming argumentative when feeling criticised.
• Flight: Avoiding or escaping the stressor. This could look like procrastinating or avoiding an overwhelming project.
• Freeze: Feeling paralysed or stuck, unable to take action. For instance, being unable to respond in a high-pressure meeting.
• Fawn: Attempting to appease others to diffuse tension, often at the expense of your own needs. For example, agreeing to extra tasks despite already feeling overburdened.

Why humans stay stressed longer than animals

In his book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, Robert Sapolsky explains how humans differ from animals when it comes to stress. Animals experience stress acutely, for example, when being chased by a predator. Once the threat is gone, their bodies quickly return to a calm state as the parasympathetic system takes over.

Humans, however, tend to remain in a heightened state of stress even when the immediate threat has passed. This happens because we often ruminate on problems or anticipate future challenges. The result? A persistent activation of the sympathetic nervous system and chronic exposure to stress hormones, which can harm both mental and physical health.

Understanding how the SNS and PNS influence your stress response is key to managing stress effectively. Techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing, and relaxation exercises can help activate the parasympathetic system, promoting recovery and balance.


Recognising stress in your life

Recognising how stress affects you personally is crucial to managing it effectively. Stress often manifests in a combination of emotional, physical, and behavioural ways.

Emotional Signs:

• Feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope.
• Increased irritability or frustration.
• A persistent sense of worry or dread.

Physical Symptoms:

• Muscle tension, especially in the neck and shoulders.
• Frequent headaches or migraines.
• Digestive issues, such as stomach cramps or nausea.

Cognitive Effects:

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
• Overthinking or racing thoughts.
• Avoiding responsibilities or turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overeating, drinking, or excessive screen time.

Behavioural Signs

• Changes in eating habits, such as overeating or a loss of appetite.
• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping excessively.
• Increased use of substances, like alcohol, caffeine, or cigarettes, as coping mechanisms.
• Social withdrawal, avoiding loved ones or social activities.
• Procrastination or avoidance, delaying tasks or responsibilities.
• Restlessness or fidgeting, such as pacing or tapping fingers.
• Neglecting responsibilities, including work, household chores, or personal care.
• Emotional outbursts, such as sudden anger or irritability.

The key to managing stress is noticing these signs early and addressing them before they escalate.


Stress Management techniques: A Humanistic approach

The humanistic and person-centred approach emphasises self-awareness, personal growth, and the belief that every individual has the capacity to find their own solutions. By focusing on your unique experiences and needs, this model provides tools for managing stress that feel authentic and empowering.


1. Identifying your stress triggers
Understanding what causes your stress is the foundation of effective management. In a person-centred counselling session, you might explore not only the external factors causing stress but also internal pressures, such as perfectionism or fear of failure.

Practical Example:
Imagine feeling constantly overwhelmed at work. By reflecting on this in counselling, you might uncover a pattern: taking on too many responsibilities because you find it difficult to delegate or say no. With this insight, you can begin to set healthier boundaries.

What You Can Do:

• Keep a Stress Journal: Record situations that cause stress, noting how you felt and reacted. Over time, you’ll spot patterns, helping you better anticipate and address triggers.
• Reflect on Your Values: Ask yourself, “Are my actions aligned with my priorities, or am I overextending myself to meet others’ expectations?”

2. Practising Self-Compassion
When you’re stressed, it’s common to be self-critical, blaming yourself for not handling things “better.” The person-centred approach invites you to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, fostering resilience rather than adding to the pressure.

Practical Example:
Suppose you’re stressed about an exam and didn’t perform as well as you hoped. Rather than thinking, “I’m useless,” reframe it as, “This was a tough challenge, and I did my best. I can learn from this experience and try again.”

What You Can Do:

• Daily Affirmations: Begin your day by reminding yourself of your strengths, such as, “I am capable of managing challenges one step at a time.”
• Self-Compassion exercises: Write yourself a letter from the perspective of a kind friend, offering reassurance and encouragement.

3. Creating a Safe Space to recharge
Stress often feels inescapable, which is why creating a designated space for relaxation is so important. This is a space where you can temporarily disconnect from responsibilities and focus on nurturing yourself.

Practical Example:
Set up a "calm corner" in your home, a small area with soft cushions, a soothing scent (like lavender), and items that bring you comfort, such as books or photos. This space becomes your go-to refuge when stress feels overwhelming.

What You Can Do:

• Engage your senses: Use candles, essential oils, or calming music to create an atmosphere that soothes your mind.
• Schedule uninterrupted time: Set aside 15 minutes daily to use this space, whether for journaling, meditating, or simply relaxing.

4. Setting boundaries and saying No
Stress often arises from taking on too much, whether due to external expectations or internal fears of disappointing others. The person-centred approach can help you explore why setting boundaries feels difficult and practise ways to assert yourself.

Practical Example:
Through counselling, you might realise that a fear of conflict leads you to say “yes” to extra responsibilities at work. Practising assertive communication allows you to set limits respectfully, such as, “I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m currently at capacity.”

What You Can Do:

• Pause before committing: When asked to take on more, give yourself time to consider whether it’s manageable.
• Practice scripts: Prepare phrases like, “I’d love to help, but I need to prioritise my current workload.”

5. Practising Mindfulness and staying present
Mindfulness, a cornerstone of many therapeutic practices, helps you break the cycle of racing thoughts by grounding you in the present moment. This technique aligns with the person-centred approach’s emphasis on self-awareness and acceptance.

Practical Example:
Imagine you’re overwhelmed by a mounting to-do list. Instead of spiralling into worry, practise a simple mindfulness technique:

1. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
2. Notice the sensation of air entering and leaving your nose.
3. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath.

What You Can Do:

• Mindful walks: Spend 10 minutes walking outside, paying attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations around you.
• Use Mindfulness apps: Apps like Calm and Insight Timer provide guided meditations tailored to stress relief.

6. Talking it out
One of the most effective ways to manage stress is by sharing your feelings. Person-centred counselling provides a safe, empathetic space where you can explore your stress without fear of judgment. Being heard and understood often lightens the emotional burden of stress.

Practical Example:
During a counselling session, you might express feelings of overwhelm. Your counsellor might reflect back your words, helping you feel seen and validated. This can lead to new insights and strategies for coping.

What You Can Do:

• Find a trusted listener: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, talking through your stress can help you process it more effectively.
• Consider counselling: If stress feels unmanageable, a counsellor can guide you through tailored techniques and strategies.

When to seek professional support
Stress is a normal part of life, but if it becomes chronic or starts affecting your physical health, relationships, or work, it’s time to seek support. A professional counsellor, whether trained in the humanistic, behavioural or cognitive modalities, can help you explore your stressors and develop meaningful, personalised coping strategies.


Final Thoughts on Stress Management
Stress may be a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to dictate how you live. By identifying triggers, practising self-compassion, and building stress management habits like mindfulness and boundary-setting, you can take back control. And if you need additional support, counselling offers a non-judgmental space to explore your stress and discover what works best for you.

Take the first step: Whether it’s journaling, carving out time for mindfulness, or seeking professional help, there’s no “wrong” way to begin managing stress. What matters is finding strategies that support your unique needs and well-being.