Seeing your counsellor in public: What to expect and how I approach it

As a humanistic counsellor based in Weston-super-Mare, I have been supporting people since 2014. Over the years, I have worked alongside individuals of all ages and backgrounds who have brought a wide range of emotional, relational and personal concerns. Because most of my work is local, it is not unusual for me to bump into someone I am currently supporting, or have supported in the past, while I am out in the community.

Recently, while attending a local event, I happened to see seven people I had supported, some in the past and others I was working with at the time. It gave me a moment to reflect on something that is rarely discussed openly, but which many clients think about. What would it be like to see your counsellor in public? What feelings might it bring up? And from my perspective, what is the ethical and respectful way to handle it?


Why it can feel strange
Many clients have shared how they might respond if we bumped into each other outside the counselling room. Most say they would simply nod and carry on, some would want to come over and say hello, and others would prefer to avoid any contact altogether. One client laughed and told me, “I saw you at the recycling centre once and hid in my van!” All of these reactions are completely natural. The counselling relationship is often experienced as something private and contained, so meeting unexpectedly in the middle of everyday life can feel disorientating. It is a bit like how people describe seeing a teacher outside of school for the first time, someone you know in a very particular role suddenly appears in a completely different setting.

In humanistic counselling, the relationship is at the heart of the work. Together we create a space that is non-judgmental, confidential and clearly structured so that you can explore your thoughts, feelings and experiences without fear of being exposed or misunderstood. This space is not just physical. It is a shared emotional and relational environment where safety, respect and genuine presence are actively offered.

In this environment, presence means I am fully with you in the moment. I am attentive not only to what you say but to the way you say it, to what is spoken and unspoken. That quality of attention is part of what makes therapy feel so distinct from everyday interactions. When that protected quality suddenly appears outside its usual context, it can feel surprising or even unsettling.


How I approach these situations
Because I have worked with many people over the years, I expect this will happen occasionally. That is why I include it as part of our initial contracting conversation when we begin counselling. I explain that if we do meet in public, I will not initiate contact. If our eyes meet, I might offer a smile or a small nod, but I will not approach or start a conversation.

This is not about being unfriendly. It is a way of protecting your confidentiality and ensuring you remain in full control. You might be with friends or family, or you might be absorbed in something else. You may not want to explain who I am or how you know me. My role is to make sure you never feel placed in an awkward position.

If you do wish to acknowledge me or have a brief exchange, you are free to do so. Some people find it reassuring to have a short interaction, while others prefer none at all. Both responses are completely valid. We can also talk about your preferences during our sessions so that I can adapt my approach in a way that supports your comfort and autonomy.


Humanistic values beyond the therapy room
Humanistic counselling is grounded in the belief that every person has an inherent capacity for growth, healing and self-understanding when the right relational conditions are in place. Carl Rogers, one of the key figures in this approach, described three core conditions that make deep therapeutic change possible: empathy, congruence (or authenticity), and unconditional positive regard.

Empathy involves entering into your frame of reference as fully as I can, so that I am not only hearing your words but understanding the meaning and feeling behind them. Congruence means that I am authentic and real in our relationship, not hiding behind a professional mask. Unconditional positive regard is the commitment to hold you in acceptance and respect, regardless of what you bring or how you feel about yourself.

Alongside these, many humanistic therapists also value the idea of relational depth. This describes moments when two people are fully connected, each feeling truly understood and accepted by the other. These moments can be powerful, even life-changing, and they often arise in the privacy of the therapy room where trust has been built over time.

These values and qualities do not end when the session finishes. They shape how I hold you in all contexts. If we meet unexpectedly, my intention remains to protect your autonomy, respect your choices, and maintain the trust we have built. It is part of the commitment to keeping therapy as a space that is genuinely yours, where you can be yourself without fear of outside influence or exposure.

From an ethical perspective, this is why boundaries matter so much in counselling. The outside world only becomes part of our connection if you choose it to be. That separation allows therapy to remain a place for reflection, growth and emotional honesty, untouched by the demands and distractions of other environments.


This is your process, and it happens on your terms
Your counselling journey is unique to you. You may want it to remain entirely separate from your everyday life, or you may feel relaxed about moments when it overlaps. There is no single right way. My role is to support what feels most comfortable and empowering for you.

It can be useful to talk about these “in-between” moments because they can reveal how you experience boundaries, relationships and your own sense of privacy. They may seem like small details, but in therapy, they can be openings into deeper understanding.

Whether we meet in the therapy room or unexpectedly while buying vegetables at the market, my aim is unchanged. I will hold your story with care, respect your privacy, and ensure that you remain in charge of when and how our paths connect.

George Fortune Counselling
Counselling in Weston-super-Mare